Attitude of Gratitude

My 5 year-old is constantly lobbying for a new gadget. “Pleeeeease mom, can I get the new DSi for my birthday?” he pleaded. My response, “You just got a Wii game system for Christmas, which needs a bunch of not-to-cheap accessories in order for you to enjoy the true Wii experience.” “But, all my cousins have a DSi,” he continued. Me, “Not cousin J, he doesn’t have it.” So, we went back and forth like a tennis match, until I finally acquiesced with a caveat, “You can get one when you master reading and writing.” Now, I know it will be years before he truly masters reading and writing, truth is I am still perfecting the skill of writing. So, this was truly a dubious answer. But, it bought me enough time to address the real problem, my son’s lack of appreciation for the things he has. It was time to devise a plan to help instill an “attitude of gratitude” in him.

As a child, I don’t ever recall my siblings and me pleading for the latest and greatest toy. There were 10 of us and our parents successfully housed (they owned their own home), fed (it was not always what we wanted, but it was what we needed), clothed (My mom was a frequent shopper at “The Blue” our local thrift store) and cared (they didn’t voice it much, but by their actions we all knew we were loved) for us all. They also made sure we all received gifts at Christmas and even an occasional birthday party. There seemed to be an understanding amongst us kids that we should be appreciative of the things we had and that included each other. Now, how can I transfer this “attitude of gratitude” into my only child, who has his own room, own toys and who rarely has to share anything with anyone?

Well, operation “attitude of gratitude” began with a friendly talk about being grateful for the things he has. “You are so blessed, you have your own room, you live in a great neighborhood, have good friends.” He seemed to listen intently, but not that intently, the requests for the DSi continued. Then a teachable moment presented itself, as he was watching National Geographic with his Dad he was introduced to two boys both with vascular disorders. One boy’s face was severely distorted and another boy’s leg was amputated due to the disorder. My husband pointed out that these boys were not bitter and seemed to be genuinely appreciative for their lives. Those young boys left an indelible mark on my son’s heart. The next day he expressed concern for the boys. And, he was genuinely thankful that he could run and play and had no serious health problems. I finally saw the seeds we planted beginning to take root.

Based on that experience, I began to think and reflect on my own “attitude of gratitude.” Yes, my parents did a great job teaching me the importance of being thankful, but somewhere along the way, I lost my way. I needed to re-implement the plan I instituted for my son. Truth be told, I was not that different from him. I recalled, as we settled into our new home, I had an overwhelming feeling of regret. Our home didn’t have the nice gourmet kitchen I wanted (never mind that I didn’t cook all that well), nor my dream bathroom, with the soaking tub, terra cotta tiles and rainforest shower head (maybe I watch too much HGTV), nor the open floor plan. It wasn’t my dream house. I was focused on what I didn’t get. But, I was reminded by a radio personality (Steve Harvey) that God wanted us to be thankful for what we have, instead of constantly lobbying him for the next thing (sound familiar). The Bible clearly states that “we are called upon to be thankful in everything to give thanks, for this is the will of God concerning you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

Soon, I began to think about all the great things our home had: it was in an area with a great school system, we have a pool and lots of yard space. We have more than enough room for our small family. I didn’t stop there; I began to focus on those things that truly mattered: a husband that loved me unconditionally and has stuck by me through some difficult times; having a child despite infertility issues; being alive after a diagnosis of cancer. I now better understand why God calls us to be thankful, it forces us to take the spotlight off ourselves and our “wants” and truly appreciate those things in life that matter most.

Being grateful really is an attitude. We can choose to reflect on the dreams that have been deferred or derailed, or we can choose to concentrate on those moments in our life that we should be thankful for. So, like my son, I am adopting an “attitude of gratitude.” And, the next time you are plagued with negative thoughts about all you don’t have or didn’t accomplish, implement your own “attitude of gratitude” and simply tell the Lord thank you for all the good in your life. You’ll be glad you did.